WEDDING RESOURCES · THE BIG GUIDE
Your guide to an epic wedding.
Real people. A brilliant day. And photographs that let you remember what it all actually felt like.
It is an age-old saying among the married that they would do things differently if they could redo the day. So what would your future self say to you?
As a photographer, I see and experience the day like almost no one else. I see the moments from start to finish, big and small, and more than fifteen years of watching how weddings actually feel has given me a wealth of knowledge on that very question. So consider this guide your little window into the future, full of insider secrets, tips and tricks.
But please keep in mind that this is a guide, not a manual. Listen to yourself and what feels right. My biggest takeaway for you is to do what is you and ignore the rest. After all, this is YOUR day. So make it yours.
I see norms and traditions broken, borrowed and reimagined all the time. There really is only one guarantee if you want your wedding to feel different from everybody else's: make choices that actually feel like you.
IF YOU READ NOTHING ELSE
The things that make the biggest difference.
Build breathing room, not a military operation.
A good timeline protects the parts you care about. It is allowed to bend when the wedding needs something different.
Finish the morning before you have to.
Hair and makeup finishing is not the same thing as being ready to leave. Build space for clothes, jewellery, missing lipstick and actual breathing.
Your people are part of the point.
Think about who will actually make the day feel better, calmer and more like you. The photographs follow the relationships.
Protect the drinks reception.
You invited those people because you want to be with them. Formal photographs matter, but they should not swallow the party.
Let the photography happen in pockets.
Ten or fifteen good minutes at the right moment often gives me more than one giant portrait marathon ever will.
Stop planning before the wedding.
Sleep and being present will change the way the day feels far more than whether the tiny detail you were obsessing over got finished.
00 · BEFORE THE WEDDING
Do the thinking now so you can stop thinking on the day.
The best wedding-day problem solving usually happens before it is technically a problem. I do not mean scripting the day to death. I mean sorting the boring logistics so there is room for the emotional, funny, unpredictable stuff.
Start with the things that cannot move: ceremony, food, venue access, transport, speeches and any hard deadlines. Then build the flexible things around them. I am always thinking backwards from the ceremony and forwards from the wedding breakfast, with enough breathing room that one late lipstick or one traffic queue does not make everybody panic.
A timeline should make the wedding feel easier. If it starts making the wedding feel like a production schedule, we have missed the point.
Start with the fixed things.
Ceremony, food, speeches, venue access, transport and any hard deadlines first. Photography should fit around the wedding, not make the wedding fit around photography.
Build backwards and forwards.
If the ceremony starts at 1:30, I am working backwards through leaving time, getting dressed and hair and makeup. If dinner is at 5:00, I am working forwards from the ceremony so the drinks reception still has room to breathe.
Give travel real-life time.
A journey that says twenty minutes on Google can easily become thirty-five once people find cars, park, walk in heels, greet somebody outside and work out which door they are meant to use.
Have a rain plan you actually like.
Rain rarely ruins a whole wedding. Uncertainty does more damage. Know where portraits, confetti and drinks move if the weather turns very British.
Check sunset before you commit to the ceremony time.
Especially in winter, that one decision can quietly dictate how much natural light is left for confetti, drinks and portraits. It is not about chasing golden hour at all costs. It is about knowing the trade-off before the invitations are printed.
01 · BEFORE THE WEDDING · INSPIRATION
Use inspiration to find the feeling, not a list of things to copy.
Pinterest is brilliant at showing you possibilities. It is less brilliant when it quietly turns into a scavenger hunt for somebody else's wedding.
Save what makes you stop. Then look for the pattern underneath it. Maybe every photograph you love has candlelight, long tables, people packed together and a slightly chaotic dance floor. That tells you far more about the wedding you want than the exact charger plate, flower or sign in the frame.
Use inspiration to work out what you care about, then give yourselves permission to make it your own.
02 · BEFORE THE WEDDING · SUPPLIERS
Choose people you trust enough to let them be good at their jobs.
A beautiful portfolio matters. So does the person behind it. You are inviting suppliers into a very personal day, and the best ones do more than deliver their individual thing.
I love working with people who communicate, share information and care more about the wedding working than protecting their own little five-minute kingdom.
Choose suppliers whose work you love, whose judgement you trust and whose energy you actually want around you. Then let them use the experience you hired them for.
Book the genuine must-haves first. Some suppliers can only take one wedding a day, so photographers, planners, videographers, bands and DJs can genuinely disappear from the calendar. Made-to-order wedding attire can also have surprisingly long lead times.
03 · YOUR PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE POINT
Curating the day also means curating who is around you.
The right people make the morning calmer, the ceremony warmer and the photographs feel more like your life.
There are no rules you absolutely HAVE to follow when it comes to the wedding party. Do what feels authentic to you, because you happy makes for the best photographs.
Matching attire is not a requirement and neither are equal numbers. You can have whoever you want get ready with you and be in your party, officially or not. You do not need official titles, one best man, matching clothes, bouquets or buttonholes. Bridesmaids do not have to walk down the aisle before you, after you, or at all. Your wedding party can stand beside you during the ceremony or sit in the pews. Do what is you.
Think about the actual person, not just the role. If your niece would hate every second of being a bridesmaid but you desperately want to include her, she could be your something blue instead and wear a blue dress. I have seen that done and it is ridiculously cute.
And zoom out further than the bridal party. What kind of room do you want to be in? Who makes other people relax? Who will dance first, help Nan, throw the confetti properly, laugh loudly during speeches or bring out the best in the quieter people? The guest list, seating plan and roles you hand out all quietly shape the atmosphere.
A wedding is one of the rare times almost everybody you love can be in one place. The people are not background decoration. They are the point.
04 · BEFORE THE WEDDING · ENGAGEMENT SESSIONS
Five reasons an engagement session can be worth it.
I grew up in the Midwest where engagement photographs were basically a given. Moving to the UK made me realise people here often seem to need a very official excuse to hire a photographer. I do not think you should need one.
They are not mandatory. But when they suit the couple, they do an awful lot of useful work before the wedding.
You learn the camera is not the enemy.
We have time to work through nerves and find what actually feels natural before the wedding clock is running.
I learn you.
Chemistry, height differences, proportions, how you move together and which directions get you out of your heads fastest.
Your guests know me before I arrive.
If they have seen the photographs and know you had a good experience, there is already a little trust banked before the wedding.
It can actually be fun.
Go somewhere lovely, bring the dog, book dinner afterwards and call it a date.
You document normal life too.
Your wedding deserves photographs. So does the version of you that walks the dog and wears normal clothes.
If none of that resonates, skip it.
I would rather the time or collection value goes somewhere you actually care about.
05 · GETTING READY
Give the morning enough room to actually feel like your wedding.
Great moments do not really happen when people are rushed. The morning is part of the wedding, not the inconvenient admin before the real thing begins.
I want enough time for the lovely chaos: someone making tea, Mum pretending she is not emotional, your friends trying to remember how a buttonhole works, somebody hunting for a missing earring, the dog appearing exactly where it should not.
This hour disappears so much faster than you think. If every minute is allocated to hair, makeup and getting dressed, there is nowhere for any of that life to happen.
Panic is not.
THE PRACTICAL STUFF THAT BUYS YOU A CALMER MORNING
Small jobs become much smaller when they belong to somebody else.
Do the hair and makeup trial.
See how it settles, how long it lasts and what you need for touch-ups. If possible, pair it with a fitting so you can see how the whole thing works together.
Do not put the person getting married last by default.
I would much rather you finish earlier, have a final touch-up at the end and get ten minutes to look in the mirror than still be in the chair while somebody is shouting that the car is outside.
Put the important details together the night before.
Rings, stationery, jewellery, perfume, shoes, cufflinks, something borrowed and sentimental objects. I can photograph them quickly instead of turning the morning into a scavenger hunt.
Everyone else gets ready first.
If parents, siblings or wedding party are helping you dress, ask them to be ready before you start. It looks better, feels calmer and means we can photograph useful one-sided family or wedding-party combinations before the ceremony if that helps.
Choose one good place to get dressed.
Window light, enough space for the people actually helping and as little visual chaos as reasonably possible. You do not need a Pinterest-perfect suite. You just do not want six suitcases, three takeaway cups and an ironing board becoming supporting characters.
If you can get ready in the same place, there are real advantages.
Nobody loses time to unnecessary travel and I can often cover both sides without needing extra hours or a second photographer. If both mornings matter and you are far apart, a second photographer is often the cleanest answer.
Do something that actually relaxes you.
Breakfast with friends. A walk. A massage. A pub lunch. A driving range. Whatever makes you feel like a human rather than somebody sitting around waiting for a ceremony to happen.
Give somebody else the playlist.
Music changes the room immediately, but this is not another job for the person getting married. Ask a bridesmaid, sibling or friend to make the playlist, press play, keep drinks and snacks appearing and protect you from becoming the operations manager in a dressing gown.
Have backup clothes you would actually be happy to wear.
This does not mean buying a second wedding outfit. It could be the dress from your hen do or engagement party, something you were saving for the honeymoon, or something you will happily wear again on anniversaries. For the guys, a fresh shirt, even in a different colour, and spare trousers can be plenty. You may never touch them. You may wear them for twenty minutes while somebody fixes a broken bustle, deals with a zip, or cleans an espresso martini off your dress, then change back again. Strapless dresses loosen, trousers split and drinks spill. Having an option means a wardrobe problem does not have to steal an hour of your wedding.
06 · THE CEREMONY
You are allowed to interact during your own wedding ceremony.
The ceremony is the bit everybody claims they are planning the wedding for, and then somehow it can end up being the least discussed part of the day.
You do not need to choreograph it. You do need to give yourselves permission to be in it. Look at each other. Hold hands. Laugh if something is funny. Cry if you cry. Say hello when one of you reaches the other end of the aisle.
This most likely is not an arranged marriage. Unless your religion genuinely requires otherwise, your celebrant is not going to stop the ceremony because you turned around to watch your person walk in.
Think about the room, not just the aisle.
Families can switch sides so parents see their own child's face. Guests can sit in a curve, horseshoe or circle. The traditional layout is one option, not a legal requirement.
Decide how you feel about phones.
A bright tablet held in an aisle can block both the professional photograph and your view of each other. If a full unplugged ceremony is not you, even asking guests to keep devices low during the entrance and vows makes a difference.
Let the entrance song actually have an entrance.
If there is a bit of the song you love, give it a second to land. Let the room realise what is happening, let your partner turn around, then come in.
When it comes to the kiss, mean it.
If you hate PDA, I am not asking for a cinematic snog. I am asking you not to make the whole thing last 0.00002 seconds.
Walk back down the aisle like you just got married.
Keep moving. Kiss again. Punch the air. High-five someone. Kiss Nan. Celebrate. Please do not stop halfway down and politely pose for me like we are doing school photographs.
07 · JUST MARRIED + CONFETTI
Disappear for five hot minutes. Then come back to chaos.
Straight after the ceremony, before everybody gets hold of you, go somewhere out of sight together. Five or ten minutes. That is it.
Some of my couples' favourite photographs come from this tiny pocket because there is nothing performative about it. You have just got married. There is relief, adrenaline, laughing, crying and the first chance to actually look at each other without a room full of people watching.
While you disappear, your chosen people can organise the confetti. Come back out to one giant celebratory moment, then greet everybody properly afterwards.
CONFETTI · THE PRACTICAL BIT
Four things that make your confetti photographs better
Use more than you think.
Sparse confetti nearly always looks sadder than slightly ridiculous amounts. Big handfuls beat polite little pinches.
Give one person the spare basket.
I love having somebody follow just behind with the extra confetti. If the wind steals half of it, they can keep feeding more into the side that actually needs it as you walk through.
Throw high, not hard.
We want flutter, not assault. Throwing upwards gives it time to hang in the air instead of firing it directly into your faces.
Check the venue rules before buying half the internet.
Petals, paper and bubbles all behave differently. The best option is the one your venue allows and your people will actually commit to.
08 · GROUP PORTRAITS
The photographs you cannot leave to chance, without missing your wedding.
Your formal list is the insurance policy for the photographs you absolutely cannot leave to chance. Leave those must-haves too late in the day and rounding everybody up becomes much harder.
But I also do not want the drinks reception turning into a forty-five-minute conveyor belt of relatives because somebody wrote every possible permutation of the family tree into a spreadsheet.
The goal is simple: decide what genuinely matters, organise it properly, make everyone look good and get you back to the wedding.
THE METHOD
Maximum photograph. Minimum faff.
I organise the order before the wedding.
I learn who everyone is and work out the logistics so you are not standing there managing a shot list. Give me names, relationships, ages, disabilities, mobility needs and the family dynamics I should know about. A bit of TMI here is genuinely useful. And that list does more than organise the formal photographs. It tells me who matters to you, so I know who to keep an eye on for candid moments throughout the rest of the day.
Start big and whittle down.
Do the larger family combination first, release the people who are finished, then move into smaller groups.
Two minutes is already quick.
When everyone is standing where they need to be, I can photograph a small family grouping in roughly two minutes. We still arrange people, fix awkward hands, take phones out of hands, ask Dad to ditch the sunglasses and get everybody looking at the same camera.
Editorial takes longer.
If you want something properly Vogue-inspired, think more like five to ten minutes per photograph. I am everybody's mirror. My job is to notice what people cannot see and make them look the best I can, quickly.
Use the morning if it helps.
If parents, siblings or wedding party are already with you, we can often photograph some combinations before the ceremony. They get more time, and I get to coach everyone. Later groups move faster because they already know the drill.
Tell everybody they are needed.
Cousin Ted is far less likely to vanish to the bar if he knows he is required at 3pm. Your two designated helpers can find missing people while I am photographing the current group.
One camera at a time.
Twelve relatives staring at six different phones is not documentary authenticity. During the formal photograph I will absolutely take control for thirty seconds.
The nice-to-haves can happen later.
Uni mates, cousins, Mum with her sisters, Dad with his brothers. Those can often happen during a wedding-breakfast lull or later in the evening when people are easy to find.
Do the everybody photograph because you actually want it.
A photograph of every guest can be brilliant if it genuinely matters to you, but it is not compulsory. Gathering a whole wedding takes real time and cooperation, so only spend that time if the photograph is one you will actually value.
09 · THE DRINKS RECEPTION
This is not spare time between the ceremony and dinner.
This is one of the nicest parts of the wedding. Give yourselves time to hug people. Do the core family groups, a short portrait pocket, then get back to your people.
Your wedding is not a photoshoot with a drinks reception inconveniently attached.
COUPLE PORTRAITS
Short, intentional pockets beat disappearing from your own wedding.
I am not interested in taking you away for an hour because that is what photographers apparently do. I would rather steal you for short pockets when the light, location and mood make sense.
As a starting point, I normally want about ten or fifteen minutes once the core groups are done. Then, if the light later is beautiful and it fits the wedding, I may steal you back for another short pocket. Golden hour is lovely. It is not more important than your actual wedding.
If you are convinced the two of you will be awkward, here is the quickest shortcut I know: Never. Stop. Touching. Hold hands when you walk. Go hip-to-hip. Sway a little like you are dancing. Connection and movement stop you freezing into a pose, and I tailor the prompts around your personalities.
And let the dress live. If you have ever kicked off your shoes and gone full Footloose on the dance floor, you know how black your feet get. That is what the bottom of the dress will eventually look like too, so do not spend the portrait session terrified of the hem touching the ground. Baby wipes work wonders on a surprising number of wedding-dress smudges, and Tide-To-Go pens are brilliant for dress shirts.
If there is not enough wedding-day time to build confidence from scratch, do it beforehand. An engagement session is the obvious option, but a bridal session, rehearsal, engagement party or wider wedding-weekend coverage can do the same useful work.
It can also give us a chance to tick off a few family photographs before the wedding itself. More memories, less drinks-reception admin.
10 · WEDDING BREAKFAST + SPEECHES
Feed people. Put the right people together. Then let the room do its thing.
Decorate how you want, eat what you want and spend money on the things you actually care about. A wedding does not become meaningful because every chair has a sash on it.
My favourite rooms usually have priorities rather than endless details: incredible flowers, brilliant food, candlelight, a meaningful table plan, one ridiculous thing everybody talks about. Pick your things. Let the rest be fine.
Guests are fairly simple creatures. Feed them and let them socialise. If there is a big gap between ceremony and dinner, give them something proper to eat. And if table service is slow, bread is heroic. Remember too that the table plan is not only admin. Who sits beside whom, where the speeches happen and what is between me and your faces can quietly shape both the atmosphere and the photographs.
Seat people for connection, not just symmetry.
Put the people who love each other next to each other. People are more expressive beside someone they know well. They squeeze hands, cuddle up, share a look, laugh harder and egg each other on.
Think about the sightline directly in front of you.
If somebody very tall is sitting straight between me and the two of you, photographing your reactions can become unnecessarily difficult. Nobody needs evicting. I may just ask them to scoot six inches to one side before the speeches start.
Long tables often photograph beautifully.
Round tables can be gorgeous, so this is not a rule. But long tables often put a whole row of reactions in one readable line and make it easier for friends to toast each other without doing a full-body lean across a giant table.
Beautiful centrepieces still need sightlines.
Flowers can be huge if that is the dream. Just think about whether guests can still see each other and whether the people giving speeches are visible. A small shift in height or placement can keep the drama without hiding half the room.
Ask anyone speaking to check in with photo and video first.
Nothing formal. Just a quick chat before speeches so we know where they intend to stand, whether they are moving around, using props or bringing somebody else in. Then we can be in the right place before the good bit happens.
Prompt the toast before you actually toast.
The effortless-looking cheers photograph is mostly a tiny bit of organisation. Say, “I would like to make a toast, if everyone could grab their glasses.” Pause while they do it. Then toast. Suddenly everybody is ready at the same time.
Keep the toast seated unless you have a reason not to.
When one table stands, then another, then somebody very tall pops up directly in front of the couple, the room becomes visually chaotic. Often the cleanest option is for guests to stay seated, or for the speaker to stand close to the couple while the couple stays seated.
There is no compulsory speech lineup.
If the best man has terrible stage fright, maybe somebody else speaks. Mum can speak. Brides can speak. Friends can write something together. Keep the traditions that suit your people.
Check speeches against the light.
If speeches move, portraits might move. If sunset is important to you, I am quietly checking that timing so we do not discover the only lovely light disappeared during a forty-minute best-man epic.
Feed the photographer.
A glorious hot meal, please. Food is life. More practically, serving suppliers around the same time as you means I can be finished before speeches, golden-hour light or whatever happens next instead of still waiting for dinner while the wedding starts again.
11 · THE PARTY
If you want a packed dance floor, get on it.
If you want a packed dance floor, the easiest place to start is with you.
Guests copy the couple's energy more than people realise. If you are outside chatting, everyone drifts outside. If you are on the dance floor losing your mind to a song you love, people follow.
Brief a few enthusiastic friends that their job after the first dance is to GET IN THERE. Somebody has to be the first idiot. Make it your favourites.
First dance song: actually try it.
I immediately knew my own first-dance song was the wrong choice as soon as we started dancing to it. A cheesy practice run in the lounge is not the worst idea. And ask your band what they can do with it. Shortening the song, making it acoustic or even tweaking a lyric can completely change how it feels.
Let the first dance open the floor.
If you are cutting cake, doing it immediately before the first dance can move the whole room naturally from one moment into the next instead of gathering everybody twice. Then use a chorus, crescendo or change in the arrangement as the invitation for your favourite people to come in. Tell them beforehand so nobody is politely waiting for somebody else to go first.
Choose music for the people in the room.
Ask for song requests on RSVPs if useful. You do not have to make the playlist cool. You have to make it yours.
Give the dance floor enough time to become a dance floor.
The first dance is not the party. Ten minutes afterwards is not really the party either. If dance-floor photographs matter, coverage needs to continue long enough for people to lose the polite first-dance energy and actually start dancing.
12 · ONE LAST THING
Stop bloody planning.
Want to know the real secret to an amazing wedding and great photographs? It is you.
A happy, well-rested couple changes the atmosphere of the whole day. If you are exhausted or stressed, that feeling does not politely stay out of the photographs. It shows up in your face, your body language and how much capacity you have for everything happening around you.
So give yourselves an early deadline. Ideally, stop planning, prepping and worrying a few days before the wedding. Do not stay up until 4am putting confetti into individual baggies. Recruit help and decide in advance what time you are stopping, even if the final tiny thing is not finished.
Your guests will not know the napkins were supposed to be folded differently. They will know whether you were in the room with them, laughing, eating, hugging and having the time of your life.
But obsessing over them can break you.
PLANNING A WEDDING IN SUSSEX OR BEYOND?
Want a photographer who does the thinking beforehand so you can stay in the wedding?
Tell me what you are planning, who your people are and what you want the day to feel like. I will take it from there.