BEFORE YOU OPEN THE PLAYLIST
The bits that matter more than finding the ‘perfect’ first dance song.
You are not auditioning for the most romantic couple on the internet. You are choosing a few minutes of your wedding that should feel good to actually live through.
You do not need to already have ‘a song’.
If you do, brilliant. If you do not, you are not missing some relationship milestone everyone else secretly completed.
Check the lyrics, not just the chorus.
Some extremely beautiful songs are about breakups, longing for somebody else or relationships that are an absolute bin fire. I have checked the meaning as well as the melody in the recommendations below.
Listen until the chorus.
When you are listening through ideas, give the song a fair chance to reach its chorus. The first verse is not always the sell. Sometimes the first thirty seconds are just the runway.
Shortening the song is completely allowed.
Ask your DJ or band to transition into a party anthem at a point that feels natural, or use a crescendo in the song to bring everyone onto the dance floor.
Choose the feeling before the genre.
Soft and romantic is lovely. So is joyful, funny, soulful, nostalgic or properly upbeat. Your first dance does not have to sound like somebody else’s wedding.
Popular does not mean impersonal.
If a song makes both of you grin, I do not care how many other couples have used it. Familiar songs become personal because of what happens while they are playing.
IF YOU ARE HAVING A LIVE BAND
Ask your musicians what the song could become.
The recorded version is not the only version. UK wedding bands will often learn a first-dance song or special request with enough notice, although what they can do depends on their line-up, style and the song itself. Some include a request in the booking; others charge for it.
Once they have the song, ask what they can change rather than assuming it has to copy the record. Depending on the band, that might mean the key, tempo, instrumentation, intro, length, ending or even building into a bigger chorus or medleying straight into the song that opens the dance floor. A small lyric tweak may be possible with some bands or singers too, so if one line bothers you, ask. And if you are choreographing anything, ask for a reference recording so you can practise to something close to what you will actually hear on the night.
01
Give them the exact version.
If there are five covers of the song, tell them which artist or arrangement you mean. The original, an acoustic cover and a piano version can feel like completely different first dances.
02
Ask what they can change.
Tempo, key, instrumentation, intro, length and ending can all be part of the conversation. If the chorus is the bit you love, tell them — they may be able to shape the arrangement around it.
03
Ask about the lyric too.
A small word or line change may be possible with some bands and singers. It is not something I would assume is included, but it is absolutely worth asking before you rule out an otherwise perfect song.
04
Build the handover on purpose.
If you want everyone to join you, ask for a clear musical cue, a bigger final chorus or a medley into a proper party song. Live musicians can make that transition feel intentional rather than bolted on.
START HERE · MY SHORTLISTS
If you want me to narrow it down, start here.
Some of these also work beautifully in a ceremony — a good love song does not stop being a good love song because dinner has happened. But the first two lists are curated specifically for the two of you in the middle of the room: strong relationship lyrics, songs that feel good to actually dance to, and a few less-obvious choices I would love more couples to find.
If slow dancing is not really your thing, the third list is the other route: first-dance bangers with the kind of chorus that makes everyone else want to join you.
A LITTLE LESS EXPECTED
Songs You May Not Have Heard Before
The ones I keep wanting to send people individually. Romantic, genuinely good lyrics and less likely to make you think, “oh, that wedding song again.”
FAMILIAR FOR A REASON
Classics for a Reason
Recognisable is not the same as boring. Some songs become first-dance staples because the room knows them, the lyrics still land and they just work.
START THE PARTY
First Dance Bangers
For couples who want the first dance to turn into a full dance floor: recognisable, singable and with enough energy that everybody wants to join you.
TURN THE FIRST DANCE INTO THE PARTY
Your first dance can be the thing that starts the party.
I am seeing more couples either skip the traditional first dance or use it as the opening move of the party. I love that — but I would not rush the bit where it is just the two of you. Give yourselves enough time for the room to settle and for the lighting change to happen. If the band or venue changes the lighting for the first dance, I need a moment to adapt to it too.
If you want the first dance, let the song open the floor.
Choose one of those big, recognisable songs from the shortlist above and have your moment together first. Then use the chorus, crescendo or change in the arrangement as the invitation for everyone else to come in.
Tell your wedding party and immediate family beforehand so they know they are the first ones on. Ask them to sing along, dance towards you and make it obvious that the floor is open. Once a handful of confident people join you, everyone else understands what is happening.
If you have a live band, tell them the plan. They can build towards the moment, encourage everybody to sing and give the room a clear musical cue to join you.
If you would rather ditch the first dance completely, use the cake cut.
You genuinely do not have to have a first dance. Cutting the cake works brilliantly as the transition instead: position it just off or close to the dance floor, bring everybody over for the cake cut, then have one of those huge, everybody-knows-it songs start immediately afterwards.
Your wedding party starts singing and dancing, you join in and everyone else follows. There is no awkward announcement asking guests to please populate an empty dance floor. You have simply turned one moment into the next.
Cake cut → song hits → your people sing and dance → everyone follows
Make the crowd cue part of the plan.
Do not rely on everybody magically knowing when they are meant to join. Brief a few confident people and tell your DJ or band exactly when the invitation happens. The best party-starting songs do half the work for you because the room already knows the chorus.
THE BIG LIST
When you want the full rabbit hole.
Once you have a feel for the shortlists above — including the songs that can launch the dance floor — this is where I would go next. Let it play while you are cooking, driving or doing literally anything more enjoyable than wedding admin and save the ones that make one of you shout, “wait — this one.”
Spotify is the easiest place to keep the full list running. The YouTube version is useful when you want to dig into covers and alternate arrangements.
FROM THE PHOTOGRAPHER WHO IS STANDING RIGHT THERE
A few things that make the photographs better without turning the dance into a photoshoot.
I love atmosphere. Lasers are a hard no.
A good lighting setup completely changes how I photograph a dance floor. What I do not love is tiny green laser dots projected across your faces during the first dance. Truth be told, I have had one camera ruined by laser lights burning the sensor, and I now will not shoot if they are pointing onto the dance floor. I would quite like to keep my cameras — and my eyesight — please and thank you.
Form a “circle of love”.
Not a must for every wedding, but the bags, cables and kit around the music setup are rarely the prettiest backdrop. If the room allows it, ask your wedding party to get people into a full circle around you. It gives the moment atmosphere, puts the people you love into the photographs and hides a surprising amount of less-photogenic stuff.
Tell me if something is planned — or better yet, show me.
A lift, dip, confetti cannon, parent joining in or choreographed ending? I need to know where the surprise is happening. Earlier in the day I recommend a little practice. I can figure out where best to stand, and you get a feel for what it is like to dance in your dress for the first time.
Shortening the song is completely allowed.
Ask your DJ or band to transition into a party anthem at a point that feels natural, or use a crescendo in the song to bring everyone onto the dance floor. You get the part of the song you love without feeling as though you have to complete the entire track.
Once the floor opens, keep it open.
If you and your wedding party all leave the dance floor, your guests usually will too — and it is not always easy to get them back. Make sure the music that follows is stuff you can actually dance to. I have photographed plenty of weddings where the floor suddenly gets packed when the band takes a break because the playlist has the party bangers. Once you have everyone there, give them a reason to stay.
Wedding ceremony songs
If the first dance sent you down a music rabbit hole, you may as well finish the ceremony too.
50+ ceremony readings
Romantic, funny, literary and modern readings you can actually browse on the page.
How I photograph weddings
People first, portraits efficient, and no interest in posing the life out of you.
WHEN THE DANCE FLOOR OPENS
The two of you are only half the photograph.
I’m watching the friend screaming the lyrics, your parents dancing behind you and the people who have been waiting all day to finally drag you onto the floor.