WEDDING RESOURCES · ENGAGEMENT SESSIONS
Do you actually need an engagement session?
I'm probably more enthusiastic about engagement sessions than the average UK photographer. Not because I think every couple needs one, but because I've seen what they can change. But I deeply the benefits only happy if the reasons resonate with you.
There are several genuinely useful reasons to have one. So have a skim. If a couple of them make you think, “Oh yes, we'd really benefit from that”, brilliant. If none do, you've got your answer.
ENGAGEMENT SESSION · SOUTH DOWNS
THE CULTURE DIFFERENCE
Apparently, we need a good excuse to hire a photographer.
Engagement photography was a must where I'm from, so when I moved from the Midwest to the UK over a decade ago freshly married myself, I was genuinely surprised to discover it wasn't a given here.
There is this cultural thing where we seem to need something official enough to justify photographs. A wedding. A baby. A big milestone
But I don't think love and ordinary life should need an excuse.
I can't imagine a childhood that wasn't spent looking through photo albums and staring wide-eyed at how sweet, young and in love my grandparents looked at 22.
Those photographs mattered even though nothing particularly momentous was happening in them.
Because truly, nothing pulls at my heart strings more than hearing a couple say "We have no good photographs together" or hear "I can't wait to have a nice photograph of him".
Life is too short to only photograph yourselves when something official is happening. For your love to be a collection of selfies that cut off your partner's face.
THE SHORT VERSION
Why I think engagement sessions genuinely matter.
You do not need to read every word on this page to get the point. These are the things I've watched engagement sessions genuinely change.
If one of these is exactly what you want from your wedding photography or resonates with you, keep scrolling. I'll explain the logic properly.
You stop bracing for the camera.
You get proof, before the wedding, that you can relax and still look like yourselves.
Your guests stop bracing for it too.
If you want documentary photographs of your people, this is a big one. Trust makes people forget the camera faster.
I already know how to photograph you.
I learn your chemistry but also height differences, proportions and the way you naturally stand together. If I already know that, I can be just that little bit more efficient and creative on the wedding day without defaulting to the super-safe stuff.
It becomes actual quality time.
Wedding planning stops being admin for an hour. Go somewhere lovely. Bring the dog. Get dinner after. Make it a date.
You document normal life too.
This version of you deserves space on the walls as well. Otherwise you end up with a wedding shrine because my photographs are too good not to print.
There are useful bonuses.
Hair and makeup trials, wedding websites, guestbooks and save-the-dates. Nice extras, but never the main reason.
01
CAMERA CONFIDENCE
You find out the camera is not the enemy before the wedding.
Most couples tell me one of two things: “We’re awkward” or “We have no good photographs together.” And often both.
The best photographs happen when there is complete trust and confidence. If that is missing, it often shows in your face and body language, and we can waste precious minutes on the wedding day trying to break through it.
An engagement session gives us time we simply do not have on a wedding day to really address insecurities and break down those mental barriers. If I sense something feels awkward, I can slow down, change what I’m asking, explain what I’m seeing and work out what actually feels right for the two of you.
And more importantly, you get to see the photographs before the wedding.
I’ve had people passionately insist they simply cannot take a good photograph and drag their feet through half the session, only to turn up on their wedding day as some of the most eager and trusting clients I’ve ever had. One of them even left me one of the loveliest reviews I’ve received.
It is one thing for me to promise you I can photograph people who hate having their photograph taken. It is another thing entirely to have the proof sitting in your own gallery.
By the wedding day, you already know you can trust me. And when you feel confident, you look confident. In this case, that confidence ends up in your wedding photographs.
02
YOUR PEOPLE
Documentary photographs get better when your guests stop thinking about me.
This is one of the benefits I hardly ever hear photographers talk about, but it matters enormously and I notice such a huge difference.
Documentary photography still needs trust. If your guests are very aware of the photographer, they behave like somebody is photographing them. They look at the camera or turn away completely to hide themselves the discomfort. They stiffen up. They take longer to forget I'm there.
Really think about. If you've shared your engagement photographs or display them at your wedding, your family and friends have already seen my work before I arrive. They know you've had a good experience. They see how relaxed you are with me. I often overhear people excitedly discussing the photographs and asking bridesmaid or family if I was the one who took them.
Arriving with a little trust goes a long way. Because the quicker your people stop worrying about me, the more of the real stuff I get to photograph.
They've seen the work.
Your people already know what I can create with a couple they know intimately well before I point a camera at them.
You trust me.
That confidence is contagious. You are relaxed with me, which unconsciously signals to everyone else they can relax too.
I arrive less like a stranger.
Guests even approach me more asking for a funny or nice photograph with you or the people they arrived with.
03
THE TWO OF YOU
You're not practising poses.
I'm learning the two of you.
Which one of you can make the other laugh in half a second. Whether you relax fastest when you're moving. Whether quiet and close feels completely natural to you or if you're more the wild and carefree type. Which photographs you think you'll love, and which ones end up surprising you.
I use prompts, movement and conversation rather than working through pose after pose. The session gives me time to develop a deeper understanding of how to get you out of your heads and focus completely on each other.
That means I can get to the good stuff faster on the wedding day, go beyond the super-safe things I know work for everyone, and usually need less of your time to do it.
04
THE REASON I NEVER EXPECTED
It can be one of the loveliest parts of wedding planning.
“The engagement session you did with us was the most wedding-related fun we had. You gave us quality time together.” - Hillary Foreman
That single line in a thank you card has always stuck with me.
Wedding planning has a funny habit of turning your time together into admin. Guest lists, invoices, seating plans, emails, another tiny decision neither of you realised you would ever have an opinion about.
An engagement session gives you a reason to go somewhere lovely and actually pay attention to each other for a while. I use prompts, little actions and questions that get you talking, laughing and remembering things. The photographs matter, obviously, but the time together matters too.
Book dinner after. Bring the dog. Go somewhere you love. Call it date night.
05
NOT JUST THE WEDDING VERSION OF YOU
You get photographs of this version of your life.
Your wedding photographs are going to be incredibly important. They're also a very specific version of you. Fancy clothes, a massive day, everyone you love in one place.
An engagement session can be with your dog, at your house, or along the walk you do every Sunday. It can be the place you first met, the beach you always end up on, or just the two of you in clothes that feel like yourselves.
I'm sentimental about this because I grew up looking through family photo albums and being completely fascinated by photographs of my grandparents looking impossibly young and in love. I don't think we should need a wedding or a baby to bridge that time and space to remember what was.
And frankly, you'll love my photographs so much if you don't book this session, your walls risk becoming a wedding shrine.
FOR THE SPREADSHEET PERSON
It doesn't have to come out of the wedding budget.
Especially if one of you has a spreadsheet for the spreadsheet.
Yes, an engagement session can make the wedding photography better. It is also time together and photographs of your life, which means it does not have to be filed under “wedding expense”.
Add-on or upgrade your wedding collection for a birthday, Christmas or anniversary present. I had the most anti-photo groom request this years ago for his bride-to-be and I just thought it was the sweetest present he could have given her. Ironically though, this very guy who was saying he wasn't one of her "Pinterest models" was raving about the photographs after and on the day we got almost 100 insanely gorgeous photographs that I still get bookings from almost a decade later.
While these photographs can absolutely benefit your wedding, the session itself is bigger than wedding admin.
BONUS POINTS, NOT THE REASON
A few useful extras.
These are bonuses, not the reason I'd tell you to have an engagement session.
Hair + makeup trial
See how everything photographs before the wedding and tweak anything that does not feel quite right. I've had so many brides do this and you cannot tell it's the same look. Just leave out the veil and hair accessories!
Useful for the wedding
Use the photographs on your wedding website, save-the-dates or guestbook. I’ve had couples turn them into fabric banners, bookmarks, their order of the day and all sorts of little details woven through the wedding.
An excuse to go somewhere
Pick somewhere sentimental, or somewhere you've always fancied going together and never quite got around to. Sometimes we need a good excuse to get out of our typical routines.
SO, SHOULD YOU DO ONE?
If none of this made you want one, don't book one.
Seriously. I would much rather you spend the money, or the value included in your collection, on something you actually care about. Sometimes that extra coverage on the wedding day is far more valuable because it gives everything just a little more room to breathe.
And honestly, if you really, and I mean REALLY, do not want to do an engagement session and it is becoming an argument between the two of you, is it worth it?
If someone is completely determined to hate the experience, that feeling is going to creep into the photographs. I’m good, and I’m pretty confident I can work miracles on even the most anti-photo people, but there is probably a limit to how far charm and a very good client experience can carry me.
If one or more of these reasons made you think, “Yes, that would actually be good for us”, then I think you’ll get a lot out of it.
One of you being less keen is absolutely fine. You do not need two people bouncing off the walls with excitement about having your photograph taken. You just both need to arrive willing to play along, be a little silly when I ask, and trust that I know where I’m taking it.
The photographs will always carry a little of how the session felt. I want that feeling to be good.
SEE WHAT I MEAN
They should look like the two of you, not an engagement-shoot template.
Big Sussex landscape like the South Downs or cliffs at Beachy Head. A city wander. Your dog. Your house. Somewhere sentimental. Somewhere you've always wanted an excuse to go.
There isn't one right version of an engagement session. The point is to make photographs that feel like your life, not photographs that prove you successfully completed an engagement shoot.
CHOOSING BETWEEN COLLECTIONS?
What if the collection you want has an engagement session but you still don't want it?
Then let's swap it for something you actually will use.
I don't want an engagement session to be the reason you talk yourself out of a collection that otherwise gives your wedding exactly the amount of coverage and breathing room you want.
If you've read all of this and thought, nope, still not us, tell me.
We can turn it into an extra hour of wedding-day coverage. Having a local legal ceremony just the two of you a few days before? Let me photograph the ceremony or take some portraits after instead. Want to spend all your time partying on the wedding day? We could do a day-after session. Have children or a dog? Make it a family session and get photographs with them too.
You can also use a £150 credit towards a second photographer or an album if you've missed the early-booking discount, or swap it for an hour towards rehearsal coverage or another part of your wedding weekend.
The collection doesn't need to change just because the engagement session does.
The whole point is to put the photography time where it will actually mean something to you.
STILL NOT SURE?
Ask me what makes sense for you.
If you're deciding between collections, tell me what you're weighing up. I'll happily help you work out whether an engagement session would genuinely add something for the two of you, or whether your money and time are better spent somewhere else. I've talked couples out of engagement shoots to do extra coverage on the day plenty of times.