How to make your walk down the aisle feel epic

There are a few different ways to build a pause into your entrance, and I cannot recommend enough finding one that feels natural to you.

You absolutely do not need to stand dramatically in a doorway on your own waiting for your dad, mum or chosen person to join you. It really does not matter what the pause looks like. I just want you to have a few seconds where you are not actively walking and can actually look around.

This is one of those moments people dream about and romanticise for years, and then the actual walk can be ridiculously quick. In some of the little village churches I photograph here in the UK, we are talking under ten seconds.

That is not much time for your partner to turn around, realise you are there and properly take you in. And it is not much time for you either.

I see brides start walking, notice a friend, wave at an auntie, smile at somebody across the aisle, look down to make sure they are not stepping on their dress and suddenly they are at the front. Sometimes they have barely made eye contact with the person they are actually marrying.

I am definitely not suggesting you turn the whole thing into a performance. I just want you to find a way of slowing it down enough that you are not suddenly standing at the altar wondering how you got there so quickly.

Give somebody the job of fixing your dress or veil

If you have come around a corner, through a side entrance or out of a car, there is a very good chance something has bunched up anyway. Lots of British churches have little side entrances, narrow doorways and slightly awkward routes into the aisle.

Rather than trying to fix everything while simultaneously walking, give that job to someone special. They can straighten your train, sort your veil, give you one last look and send you on your way. It is practical, but it also naturally gives you a few seconds to stop, breathe and look at everybody waiting for you.

Do something that actually means something to you

I once photographed a bride who walked halfway down the aisle with her parents. Her groom came and met them in the middle, they all had this lovely moment together, and then he walked the rest of the aisle with her.

It was completely different to the usual entrance, but it suited them. It also gave the two of them time to properly see each other before the person officiating began speaking.

So if meeting halfway makes sense to you, do it. Walk in together. Pause with your parents. Enter alone and have somebody join you. There really is no reason you need to copy the exact entrance you have seen at every other wedding.

Let the music create the pause

You could wait for a particular build before you begin walking, or let the song continue once you reach the front rather than having somebody immediately fade it out.

I really like the second option because it gives you two a few seconds to actually greet each other. Tell each other you look amazing, hold hands, have a hug if that is what you would normally do, or laugh because suddenly this enormous thing you have been planning for a year is actually happening.

So many times the person officiating launches straight into speaking and the couple never gets a chance to even acknowledge each other first. Even five or ten seconds makes a difference.

This sounds incredibly obvious until you see how many wedding processionals accidentally turn into a traffic jam.

If you are having bridesmaids, parents, flower children or anybody else walk before you, let them actually get somewhere before the next person starts. If you are the final person coming in, I would stand right at the back and wait until whoever walked before you has reached their designated spot before you set off.

Entering last also gives the whole thing a bit more anticipation. Everyone sees the rest of the wedding party come in, there is a tiny pause while they settle, and then people naturally look back towards the entrance because they know you are next.

Part of the problem is that everybody naturally watches whoever is currently walking. So if one bridesmaid is still halfway down the aisle when the next person comes in, people are looking in two different places. If you then appear before she has even reached the front, half the room is still watching her work out where she is supposed to stand.

I would much rather the person before you gets all the way in, finds their place, and then you go. It only needs to be a few seconds, but it gives everybody a chance to look back towards the entrance again and realise you are next.

It helps me too. If the aisle is clear, I can photograph you coming in and your partner's reaction without somebody from the wedding party accidentally standing directly between the two of you.

Also, tell people to slow down. People get weirdly speedy when they are nervous. Bridesmaids who have spent all morning being told to walk slowly suddenly power down the aisle. Children are obviously complete wild cards.

If your venue coordinator or whoever is sending people in can wait until each person reaches the front before sending the next, even better.

And this matters even more in the little village churches around here because some of those aisles are honestly tiny. We cannot make the aisle longer, but we can stop everybody entering it at once.

You do not need a huge theatrical gap. Just enough time for one entrance to finish before the next begins.

Tell your partner they are allowed to turn around.

I have photographed weddings where vicars and registrars have told the groom to face forward and wait until the bride gets to him. And because most people assume the person officiating knows all the wedding rules, they obediently do it.

But there really is no reason they have to do that if they would rather watch.

Personally, I think it is lovely for them to see the whole thing. They get to watch your wedding party come in, see your parents, and then see you appear rather than getting one tiny sideways glance when you are already practically standing beside them.

They might see your mum walk in already emotional. They might watch their niece take her flower-girl duties extremely seriously. They might see your best friend looking at them like, you are about to lose it. Those are their people too.

It also gives their reaction time to develop. If they only turn around once you are three feet away, there is not much time to process anything before you are standing beside them and the officiant starts talking.

So just talk about it beforehand. They do not even have to watch the whole processional if they do not want to. They could stay facing forward while everybody else comes in and have their best man quietly tell them when it is time to turn around for you.

And if a registrar or vicar gets a little weird about it on the day, your partner is completely entitled to politely say they would like to watch. I am also very happy to back them up. I have done it before.

Sometimes people conduct hundreds of weddings and naturally fall into their usual routine. You only get to do your wedding once, so if you want something slightly different, say so.

This is something I have noticed more and more over the years. Couples spend all morning apart, one of them finally makes it to the front of the ceremony, and before they have even properly said hello the registrar is already talking.

You do not have to do that.

Ask whoever is officiating to give you a few seconds when you reach each other. It does not need to be announced or turned into a formal part of the ceremony. They can literally just wait.

Use that time however you naturally would. Hold hands, have a hug, tell each other you look good, laugh because something stupid happened on the way down the aisle. Whatever.

I actually think couples can become strangely formal during ceremonies because everybody is watching them. People who normally cannot stand next to each other without touching suddenly have their arms glued to their sides because they feel like they are supposed to behave properly.

You are still allowed to act like yourselves.

And photographically, I love those few seconds because you are not doing anything for me. Usually you have both just had a fairly intense build-up to getting there and it is the first chance you have had to look at each other properly.

Even if it is only five seconds before the ceremony starts, give yourselves that.

I think social media has made people a bit obsessed with the big crying reaction when someone walks down the aisle. And obviously, when it happens, it is lovely. The groom in the main image on this post absolutely lost it, even though he had already seen his bride twice that day.

But some people just are not criers. Some people laugh when they are nervous. Some grin like idiots. Some look completely stunned and barely move their face at all. None of that tells you anything particularly useful about how much they love the person walking towards them.

I do sometimes give grooms a little warning before the ceremony, and it is not you better cry. I genuinely do not want anybody faking a reaction for me.

What I do tell them is that if they are feeling emotional, try not to clamp everything down.

A lot of people instinctively clench their jaw when they are trying not to cry, and in photographs that can make you look absolutely pissed off when really you are just desperately trying to keep it together.

And more importantly, she is going to want to remember how you looked when you saw her.

That first step through the door is quite literally one of her first steps into your marriage. If you are completely floored, let her see that. If you are trying not to cry, it is okay to stop trying quite so hard. If you cannot stop smiling, brilliant.

You do not need to perform anything. I just do not want you concentrating so hard on keeping your emotions under control that the person walking towards you misses how loved they made you feel in that moment.

That is also why all these other little things matter. If your partner is chatting to their best man until the second you appear, facing the altar because somebody told them to, and then the officiant starts talking as soon as you arrive, they barely have a chance to process any of it.

Give the music a little time. Leave some space in the processional. Let them turn around. Give yourselves a few seconds when you meet at the front.

And from my side, I am not only watching the person standing at the end of the aisle anyway. I am watching parents, siblings, grandparents and everybody else who knows you well enough for this moment to mean something to them too.

While you are walking in, there is usually an awful lot happening that neither of you can see. That is half the fun of getting the photographs afterwards.

I have already done an unreasonable amount of the Googling for you.

Some photographs I'll help create. For the rest, I'm anticipating the missable.